Loves Past
by mused347
Summary: A series of One-Shots that takes a look at the Cullen's past loves before they became vampires.
1. Esme Platt

Esme

_Ugh, since when have I been so…plain? Let's face it, my whole life. _On the eve of my wedding day, I already doubted my ability to be half the wife to my soon-to-be husband as he was going to be to me. I picked up my ceramic hand made brush and ran it through my hair. _I guess I must be a lucky woman to be getting married at all…_

The next morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn. My mother and sister hurried into the room I was staying in to help me get prepared for the biggest day of my life – my wedding day. I was going to marry Charles Evenson and my married name would soon be Esme Evenson. In my ears, I didn't sound right. But, in the ears of my parents and everybody else who practically forced me into this marriage it was like money to their ears. I tried to be civil about it and not my facial expressions show my hesitation towards the man I was soon to call my husband. But, I loved him either way. He is my first love and my only love. I don't believe I'd ever loved anybody else the way that I loved Charles. But that still didn't help the reluctance. I looked up at my self in the mirror after thinking the day away and gasped. I had never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. And now, I was it.

After spending the first few months of my marriage in blissful happiness, I soon found out that Charles was not all that I intended. I thought he was a daring, kind, courageous man. And after a few months I found out he was arrogant, greedy, and all around bad guy. I didn't feel safe. And that didn't help the fact that I had just found out I was pregnant. I wanted this baby to have the most loving home in the world. And I was afraid I was not going to be able to provide for him by the way that Charles was treating me. _Him…ah, I love him more than my own life already… _

The happiest moment in my life came the day that Charles received the letter to say he was being set over seas with the Army. My heart leaped when he was reading the letter, my thoughts jumping to conclusions so quickly that I had yet to process them. I wanted to take my husband to the port and put him on the first ship over seas immediately. But, I would have to wait a month. I was only about three months pregnant, so there was still time for Charles to leave and for me to still have the baby while he was away. I wanted to get rid of him so fast that it hurt. I would only have to wait about a month more before he would be gone and I could him send him the divorce papers while he was over seas so that no harm would come to the baby and I. I was practically jumping up and down the day Charles left. I had hugged him goodbye and told him that I would write him letters every day – something I was not planning remotely on doing after the way he had treated me in our marriage. The boat left port and my first stop on the way back home was to a divorce lawyer's office. He handed me the paper work after explaining my situation to him. I walked out of that office with the biggest smile on my face and I didn't care who saw it. I was free and nobody could stop my son and me from having the perfect life I'd been dreaming of. It took a lot of courage to even consider leaving Charles in the first place, but I knew it was right. Right for me and my son.

I spent the next couple of months preparing myself for the birth of Julian. I had decided that day when I walked out of the lawyer's office that I would name my son Julian. It was such a noble name and I had had it in mind as a name for my son even before I was pregnant or even married. I looked down at the huge belly in front of my and smiled. It had been a rough couple of months since Charles' departure and the divorce being finalized. I had bought my own home outside of the city of Columbus and was going to see a pediatrician every couple of weeks to make sure that Julian was doing well. "About another two weeks, Esme. Then you will finally be able to meet your son." The doctor had said. I was ecstatic. The tears of joy welled up like no other. And I didn't care at all. I had to prepare for the birth of my son.

Before I knew it, I was in the Columbus hospital. I had been having contractions since the early morning, but had come in a couple hours after to make sure that they were true and not false alarms. _Nope, they're not false alarms that's for sure… _"Okay, Esme you have to start pushing now. It'll only be a couple of them and then you'll get to see Julian. Now, push" I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed. And then my miracle happened. I was the mother of a beautiful, brown-haired, green-eyed, baby boy. It was a dream come true and I couldn't believe my eyes.

My perspective changed that day. I had become a mother and Julian was my son. My instinct was to protect my son in all scenarios, even the small ones. And that is what I failed miserably at. My son died four days into his precious life. I wanted to scream at the doctors and nurses for failing so miserably, but I couldn't. I was incapable of shouting or yelling or anything of that nature. I was scared, scared for the son who I'd lost. Who was going to take care of him now? God? He had trillions of other people to look after. He couldn't look after one little four day old boy, could he? I didn't believe that, so I had to take myself to him. I had to be there to hold his hand and make sure he was alright in every capacity. So I went to the nearest cliff I could find. And jumped. I had to be with him, I had to be with my son.

All I remember falling, the excruciating pain that seen like it went on for days and never waking up from the horrid nightmare, until I opened my eyes and stared into the eyes of the most beautiful man, besides my son, that I had seen.

"Hello, Esme. You may not remember me from your youth, but I'm Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen."


	2. Emmett McCarty

Emmett

_Damn…I look like hell. No actually, I don't…I look like the big husky man I've always been. I'm Emmett McCarty for crying out loud. _This is me, trying to give myself a pep talk before I go out with one of the sweetest, bravest girls I had ever met. And I didn't care one bit. I just needed something to occupy my time. I mean in between school and being an all time ladies man, I needed to go out on actual dates every once in a while. So I just chose the first girl who came up to me and actually tried to get to know me, for me. Usually it was some pig-headed, hell-raiser that usually tried to feel me up. It wasn't my fault; it was just human nature that girls would be attracted to me. I'm mean, come on, I'm Emmett McCarty.

I turned around to look at the clock at the wall. Quarter till six it said. "Ok, it'll be ok, Emmett," I said to myself in the mirror. "You just need to calm down. Don't let your emotions get the best of you."

"Emmett, who are you talking too?" My little sister called from behind me.

"Nobody," I said turning around to look into her big, brown eyes.

"Oh ok." She walked out of the room and down the hallway to her room.

_Ugh, I'm gonna miss that little squirt. _I was going off to college in the fall, but I didn't want to wait until then. The only reason I was staying was because my little sister has the summer off from school and that basically was the only time I could spend with her. I finished giving my self my own little pep talk and ran out of my room. I needed to get out of the house as soon as possible so I didn't go through some kind of interrogation with my parents. They were always wondering where I would sneak off to or to where I would go in the middle of the night. Truth was I never really planned on going anywhere, it just happened.

I walked to my car, turned it on, put it in gear and drove across town to pick my date up. As soon as I pulled into her driveway, she bolted out of the house like there was no tomorrow.

"I'll see you later tonight, bye!" She called out. "Hello. How are you, Emmett?" She asked as she entered the car.

"I'm good. Glad to see your parents let you come."

"Me too, I really have wanted to see you outside of school. I'm glad you're letting me go to the movies with you." She nervously ran her hand through her dirty blonde hair, opening up her face and letting her beautiful brown eyes show.

_Wow, I'm not letting this one go…she's a beauty._

I momentarily caught myself staring at her and put the car into gear. I pulled out of her driveway and headed down the road to the town movie theatre. It only took us about five minutes to get there since our Podunk little town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee only has about three thousand people to its name. I pulled into the movie theater and put the car in park. She was about to head out of the car when I grabbed her wrist.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked.

"Umm, sure. Ask away." She smiled politely and waited for me to ask the question. It had been on my mind all day and I had no idea how to say it.

I looked down nervously and felt my hand go numb around her wrist. "Uh, I'm not really sure how to put this so I'm just going to put it out there. I like you, like a lot. And I know that you probably think that I'm some kind of ladies man and that I just throw girls away like pieces of trash, but to tell you the truth that's not me. I'm a goofball, I love to laugh and the only smile I love is the ones that are yours. I know I sound all cheesy, but I just wanted to ask will you be my girlfriend."

She looked out the window nervously and looked like she was thinking about all the pros and cons inside her head. I closed my eyes and prayed to the good lord that someone would take me out of my misery right then and there if she was to say no. I couldn't live without her, I knew that much. She was still contemplating when I opened my eyes to see her staring at me.

"Emmett, I don't know what to say…really. I mean this is all really overwhelming and I know that there are some….hesitations on my part. But, I'm putting them aside for my happiness, do you understand?"

I nodded my head and waited for her to continue speaking.

"And I would be most happy if I was your girlfriend, Emmett. So I say yes. I would love to be your girlfriend."

The huge grin across my face could not describe what I felt in that moment. I felt relief that she actually said yes, giddiness because I was so excited, and nervousness because I didn't know if I was good enough to be with this girl. But I put my thoughts aside and looked down at her brown eyes staring up at me.

"God, you don't know how long I've waited for you to say that. You truly just made me the happiest man in the world." I kissed her forehead and leaned back waiting for her response.

"Well, I've been waiting since the moment I saw you for you to ask me out, but I never thought I had a chance but I guess I do! Oh, come on, the movie is about to start and we don't want to be late." She opened the door and exited the car with me hot on her heels.

"So what are you doing tomorrow? Maybe we can see each other again?" She asked happily.

"I'm actually going hunting tomorrow, so I can't see you tomorrow. How about Sunday?"

"That'll work. What are you going hunting for?"

"Bears."

**Please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!!! This is my one of my first times writing fan fiction and I really want to know if I'm any good at it or not, lol. So please help me out by reviewing!**

**- Mused**


	3. Jasper Whitlock

Jasper

_Dear Heavenly father, please protect me in the way I've wanted to be. Please give me the strength and dignity to lead these men to a victory. I would do anything, Father, if you could just grant me this one prayer. Amen. _

I lifted my head from the dipped position it had been in after I finished my hourly prayer. That's right, _hourly_ prayer. It was something that I had been doing a lot lately and I didn't exactly know why. Could it be because I felt like I was losing my power against these Union troops or the fact that some of my men were complete idiots? I would have to say complete idiots. That was part of my job as being major, turning regular old farm boys into good, disciplined soldiers, and at the same time trying to keep my sanity at the same time. My emotions ran thick these days.

I was running the lines to make sure that everything was straight and organized when one of the soldiers called out for me.

"Major Whitlock? Can I speak to you for a moment?" Private Marshall said. I nodded and motioned for him to follow me to the side of the block.

"What do you need, Private?" I asked intuitively. He looked down nervously as if he didn't know what to say. "Come on, son. I don't have all day. Do you want to talk to me or not?"

"Umm, yes sir. I just don't know how to put this. My hometown is just a couple miles west of here. I was wondering if maybe I could be granted leave for a couple of hours so that I can make sure my family is alright and that everyone is safe." He looked up at me desperately. His eyes were pleading with me. Usually, it was not in my nature to give leave to anyone on such short notice but I had to admit that he did look rather nervous that something might have happened to his family.

"I believe that can be arranged. But only for a couple of hours, Marshall, and on the condition that I can go with you to make sure that you are actually doing what you said you would."

"Yes sir, absolutely, thanks you so much. You don't know how much this means to me!" He ran off and joined the rest of the platoon in the block. I released everyone for the day and made my way into my bunker for the rest of the night before I would have to go to Private Marshall to his home in the morning.

I woke rather early and headed out of town with Marshall. We rode on horseback until we reached the little town of Round Rock, Texas. It had a nice cozy feeling to it, and once we reach the town limits Marshall was practically bouncing on the back of the horse. We headed to his home and I was quickly introduced to his family.

"Hello ma'am, my name is Jasper Whitlock. I am your son's commanding major." I said as I introduced myself.

"Oh! What a pleasure to meet you!" His mother said overjoyed. The plump lady had to have been in her late forties but she had the energy of a twenty year old. "Thank you so much for taking care of my darling boy."

"It's my pleasure." I replied as Marshall started making sure everything in the house was in order. It took him about an hour and then we were headed to his last stop, his sister's house.

We rode to the Podunk little house on the end of the road and left our horses inside as we walked up to the entrance of the house. He opened the door like it was his own house and what I saw at the door is an image I would never forget. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen was standing there at the door hugging Marshall and smiling lightly at him. She looked over at me and said "Now, Adrian, introduce me to this handsome lad." She had the most delicate voice.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Annabel. Major Whitlock," Marshall said while looking in my direction. "This is my sister, Annabel Marshall. Annabel, this is my commanding major."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Annabel." I replied politely.

"Now, don't worry. The pleasure is all mine. Would you like to come in for some tea?" She asked with the beautiful voice. My heart jumped every time I heard that voice.

We went into the house and sat around the dining room table. We talked for hours before I realized the Marshall and I had to get back to the troops. I hated to interrupt the conversations we were having.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Marshall, we must really get going." I announced.

"Oh, of course, major. Let me go get my things." He walked out of the dining room and down the hall.

I felt Annabel's eyes on my and I couldn't help but to be nervous. I had loved the way that she told stories and the way that she was so compassionate with myself and her brother. She seemed like a lovely person. And I think that I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. But, of course, she would never know that. She would go on living her life as I lived mine and we would find bigger, happier endings. I knew there was better for the both of us. I bid her good day and thanked Marshall for bringing me to meet his sister as well as the rest of his family.

We got onto out horses and ran off down the dirt roads. We stumbled upon four ladies who looked like they were lost. I decided to help them out and let Marshall go ahead.

I galloped up next to them and was shocked to see the color of their eyes. Red. I immediately looked back and started talking without looking at them.

"Excuse me ladies, are you lost? Do you need help getting somewhere?" I asked.

"Oh, no general. I was just about to ask you the same question…" The apparent leader of the pack said.

"Oh, well I'm actually a major. Major Jasper Whitlock, of the Confederate Army. And who might ya'll be?"

"These are my sisters, Lucy and Nettie." The leader said.

"And you are?"

"Maria."

**Please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!!! This is my one of my first times writing fan fiction and I really want to know if I'm any good at it or not, lol. So please help me out by reviewing!**

**- Mused**


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